Okay, so day one went suspiciously well, but I guess its the next few days that are going to be Hell.
My last cigarette was around midnight on Saturday, and its Monday, so doing pretty good. I had a few moments yesterday of weird rage build ups that turned me in to a wee tiny ranty arm flappy thing, but it passed. I have a little nicotine patch on my hip that is itchy, but I guess its working?
The cravings are so far brief. Rather than a craving, its more a moment where I got to get out of my chair to go out the front, but now I don’t do that. Images flash of me sitting outside with a cigarette. Hard moments have been me and Tessa’s first glass of wine yesterday evening, and after our dinner time episode of Law & Order. Two mornings in a row of morning coffee with no cigarettes has gone well though.
I do get bursts of rising panic and anxiety, but I tend to get them when I smoke as well. We had a few wines last night and I didn’t find it affecting cravings at all, but the real test will be if we get drunk. I have pretty hilariously depressing will power as it is, let alone when I’m drunk.
Still, it feels good to have even made it this far. Only once before, in around 2006(?), did I try to quit that was doomed. Still, that was the longest period I had of not smoking, all twenty hours of it (that I think included about nineteen hours of sleep). Hmm, actually now I write about it I am finding the cravings rising. Fuck you, writing, you’re meant to be theraputic!
Anyway. So far so good. No cause to celebrate yet, but so far so good.