Day 4, continued, continued, or, what the fuck am I meant to do at the bus stop now?


An afternoon of firsts! First shift at work having now stopped so instead of rolling a cigarette on the bus when it gets to La Trobe Street its just a bit of vigorous pants itching. No cigarette after, just a trip to the supermarket and eating four peaches and a fig. Its because I like figs, and also its a pretty good meta Arrested Development gag. More peaches.

I have to stop replacing cigarettes with fruit or I am going to turn in to some sort of suspiciously brown decorative water feature. Or chocolate. I normally don’t smoke while I’m at work, but I also felt the need to devour two chocolate bars and a bucket of watermelon. I also normally don’t narrate what the biography of Keith Richards might gently whisper to the biography of Gina Rinehardt as Keith spoons Gina on the shelves. When the vacuum cleaner shuts off I don’t normally tell it I’m not mad, just disappointed. It’s all a day of firsts.

It is hot — not hot like it is everywhere else. We move to Brisbane for a bit of warmth and suddenly Canberra is having forty degree days? I don’t own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate a gun rack. Police Academy on tonight. Having TV back is exactly as good and as bad as you would expect it to be. For every The Love Boat there’s a Robin Tunney in TV’s The Mentalist looking depressed and haggard. For every awkward, heart breaking and quite good Louis Theroux doco about autism there’s at least five Horatio Canes and half a Ted Danson. Do you think anyone has told Ted Danson he’s in CSI and not Bored to Death? Is his acting style just ‘desperate and high’, or has the director failed to communicate he’s in a new show now? Does he assume Zach Galifiankis shaved off his beard and is Brass now?

I have so many dreams about smoking sometimes I feel like I have been smoking. The only reason I know I haven’t been smoking is that I have not been smoking — I would fucking know if I have been smoking, wouldn’t I? Fuck you! Am I sleep smoking? I actually could be, except I’ve never been a sleep walker, and sleep paralysis won’t help me smoke, it just helps me wake up in the middle of the night and feel like I have been buried alive.

Seriously though: Police Academy is on in like half an hour.


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